All The Good Marriage News

Lots of good news re: gay marriages - not even gay civil unions. States are working hard on passing marriage equality rights and undermining the gay bans being promoted in some states. They seem to be riding the roller coaster after California said Prop. 8 is illegal. Yea. My thoughts about them being upset about a judge being gay is that we should all be upset when the judges are straight. Isn't that a bit of bias, also.  I mean, come on, really. Doesn't that make sense.  I'm happy about many of the things in the works, although I know they may not all come into fruition.  New Jersey passed gay marriage in Congress, but Gov. Christie vetoed it.  I'm not sure what the threat is to others, do you?  Many believe in 10 years it will be like white people and black people getting married - it will be a non-issue.  Unfortunately, we still have many people who have issues with people because some are still frightened and judgmental.  Sad. Later. I'm going to bed and wake up to better days. Let's hope Rick Santorum does not get the nomination.  He is not a friend to gay people at all. But would he be even easier for Obama to beat. That is the question at this point. 

The Good News Out There!

I just heard a pretty cool thing on Rachel Maddow - I believe it was on her section of the BEST THINGS - I'm not sure of the name, but Representative Barney Frank was wearing a ring on his finger and he is engaged to his partner of 5 years.  He was interviewed and said he's in love for the first time in his life.  He has been in Congress for 32 years.  Isn't that cool.   He will marry under Massachusetts law that has gay marriage.  However, his partner will not receive equal benefits of all the other Congressmen's spouses, which totally isn't fair. 
I myself live in Illinois and we have civil unions as of last June, 2011.  We also are now allowed to access State Income tax laws of married people, however not federal laws.  Baby steps, right.  Back to the book "It Gets Better."  And it is.  But we must fight the right-wing conservatives wanting to undo all the positive work that has been done.  I read that one state wants to ban gays from being in their National Guard - just a sneaky way to undo the repeal of DADT.  I think these people just need to get rid of their hate and fear, and get with it.  The world is moving forward and they can't hold it back.  Gay people aren't going back into the closet, nor should we.  But as I write this, I feel good about it.  I am an older person who has seen many changes. I know many young people still feel abandoned and bullied, but there also is a large poplulation who have no problem coming out because in many ways the world is more accepting.  Look at Ellen's sitcom and now she has a famous talk show with a large following. Melissa Etheridge. Neal Patrick Harris and his partner openly adopting babies.  Ricky Martin.  Many have now come out and it has not hurt them.  Rosie O'donnell has been out for a long time.  Still famous.  Still followers.  These people were not abandoned because they were gay - perhaps we have more respect for them because they are being honest.  At least those of us who do not breed hate and we have a brain in our head.  I feel sorry for those others who cannot accept people for who they are.  How sad.

Post South Carolina Primary and Newt Gingrich won.  I get very concerned about the people that are running for office and the lack of integrity and concern for the public.  I have watched politics much closer as I've gotten older and I have to question if politicians really work for the people or for the big money causes.  The oil companies, anti-labor groups, those with the most cash.  That would not be the environmentalists, those fighting for equality for all, or for those trying to help children and poor or underprivileged, or support for LGBT Americans. Newt is trying to override Rick Santorum and gain all the conservatives.  Mitt can't because he's Mormon.  Yikes, I say.  Rick is awful in his hate for gays, and we know all the candidates will say what they need to do to win the religious right vote.  
  Right now, the rhetoric that Newt is throwing out about welfare queens, obama giving out food stamps, and the poor living off the government, getting rid of gay rights, I know where his heart is.  I have always worked with children and underprivileged and not made a lot of money in the process, but I have passion about what I do.  I was always a single mom who ultra-religious husband left me with 3 children so he could be happy. Our children were 6,4, and 1. Sounds like Gingrich.  But their God forgives them. But I guess my point is that I was not poor because I was a third generation welfare mom. I was poor because I trusted my husband and stayed home with children and was at his mercy financially because of that. 
I also have a college educated son who just lost his job after surviving the 2+ years since the recession. But he is a young man who wants to work and has worked since he was 16.  He's not a slacker accepting food stamps.  So, Gingrich needs to watch his stereotypes.  No one's story is the same.  Perhaps if I were Newt or Mitt and lost my job, or my son lost his job, it wouldn't matter because we were wealthy anyway. But that is not the case for the middle class, the working class. We need help to survive when we cannot get a job with a college education.  Making $8.00 an hour doesn't pay for gas, and a house payment, and food. So when I hear this rhetoric from the republican nominees, I get angry.  They are wrong!!! The LGBT population is a small part of society and will never have the money cumulatively that the Koch brothers will have.
Newt was released as speaker of the house for a reason.
These are some of the reasons I work 2+ jobs, trying to change my money flow from that of someone who has always had to struggle with money to having it easier, but I'll never make it to the status of a Newt financially. If you are where I'm at, here's an idea.  Empower Network.

Everyone is Of Value - Even Gay People!!

Who loves Rick Santorum?  Most likely no one who thinks for themself and is liberal and accepting of other people, as he is, and always has been, extremely judgmental and non-supportive of equality and individual rights, unless you are a Christian conservative, with very narrow beliefs.  Unfortunately, there is so much hate-mongering going on.  It is very sad. This week I even heard that he is against birth control.  Come on now.  Who is this man?  If he were to actually win anything, I would have to move out of the country as it is so ridiculous.  I mean really the Republican candidates are a joke.  I heard today that Mike Huckabee didn't have anyone to support as their only goal was to get rid of Obama - not what the focus of a presidential candidate should be.  How about "What are you going to do to make this country better?" How will you address equality.  Create jobs. keep Americans from dying because of poor healthcare? I often have to turn off the news when I hear some of these things that they do believe - too bizarre to believe.  And that people are willing to listen to this baloney.  Would have used a different word but....!  It is my hope that the country turns around and people are again treated like human beings again - that is those of us who are not millionaires.  My partner is a nurse and I am in schools, and neither one of us are truly treated as professionals for what we can contribute to human beings - merely as what we mean to the bottom line.  People are asked to cut corners with people now.  Sad.
I did read today that Washington State - the 7th state- may head down the path of gay marriage - yay! Let's get it done, shall we.  I guess the "liberal" judges in Iowa that helped gay marriage go through, have been removed, due to the power of the religious right.  At least Michelle Bachman, who was originally from Iowa, was not supported in Iowa and has stepped down.  Now if her husband and his anti-gay therapy would stop receiving funding and close his clinic.
So, to lgbt people, hang in there, live proudly, and demand the dignity we all deserve.  Enjoy!
Chris Naff
check out Empower Network

Hopefully, Most People Are Evolving!

I'm enjoying writing for blogs again.  I started - as do many people - with enthusiasm and then life gets in the way.  And then it's hard to get back to.  But as I start to realize what a difference I can make, people that actually read them, and the value to myself as I write and reflect.  It brings about more thoughts and awarenesses for myself.  Hopefully, others can benefit.  So today is the Iowa caucuses.  Not a good moment for the glbt population as the people running are all very homophobic, judgmental, and adamant about restricting rights for glbt.  We will all be at risk if one of them wins the presidency.  Hopefully America hasn't gone backwards that much.  I believe - have to believe - that the prejudice and backward thinking is really a small group of America that is listening to the wrong group of people - that they need someone to tell them how to think.  Not true for most of us, but for some... I really don't understand what they are afraid of.  As we evolve as a people we should be able to come up with our best choices and let others come up with theirs about their life.  If someone is gay, others should just be able to respect their choice, since it is no harm to anyone else.  My loving a woman is not an issue to anyone else except my children, etc.  And luckily I taught them what's really important in life and they are evolved enough to see the bigger picture.  People who are stuck in that narrow, judgmental world, where they are concerned about what everyone else is doing, are pathetic.  I feel sorry for them because they are missing what life is really about.  Life is short, let's live it and enjoy other people.  We can learn from each other.  So now I have to ask myself what I can learn from the population that is narrow-minded and wants to tell me how to live.  Hopefully we can show them how to live from example.  I did hear of an example of a person who was on the road fighting against gay marriage and as he met more and more people, he realized it was wrong to be discriminating against people, and the people he met changed his thinking.  However, he had to be open to that and some people are too full of hate.  I will try to keep my mind open to see what they can teach me, meanwhile I will continue to try to expand awareness and support for the lgbt population.  Have you heard of Dan Savage's new book - It Get's Better.  He wrote the book to help young people know that it doesn't stay awful if it might be when young.  I believe it's addressing those people who suffer when they come out because there is no one in their life who understands or cares - they are abandoned by people in their life because they are gay.  Dan's message is that life does get better - suicide is a poor choice because life won't always feel that bad.  There are places to reach out to when you feel like that.  I will try to add these to my blog as I go along.

Check out Empower Network if you are interested in some online opportunities to change your life in a positive, financial way. 

School Bullying, Gay Students!

So, New Year's Day is over.  The parades, etc. are on today, and then it's January.  For glbt people who are struggling with the whole coming out experience, for those people who are judged by others, have lost family or friends because of it, the holidays can be very hard.  I know things are better than they used to be.  I see people who are in their 70's and have been with their partners for 30+ years and I am in awe of how they made it through all those times, because we all know that it was very difficult to be gay in the past.  It still is in some families and/or places, but think of 40 years ago, the dark, smoky bars were the only place to go to be yourself.  Even today, I think that I like to go to gay events because it's easier to be ourselves when we are all gay.  I am with a partner but it's really not easy to totally be myself around straight people, even friends.  I find they are very accepting, but physical intimacy is another story - affection, etc.   So, keep me posted on what you know to be true out there.  I work in schools and know that the bullying and judgment by other students toward "perceived gay students" can be very harsh, no matter how hard the staff come down on "bullying."  I actually do a lot of training in the elementary schools, as young as kindergarten, re: how we treat each other.  Children are often the product of their parents' beliefs, and there are still parents out there with racism, bigotry, and narrow ideas.  Kids often tell us their parents say "If he's mean to me, I can hit him."  Goes against school policies.  So, one day at a time, one child at a time.  The positive student behavior is trying to help students think in a positive way about themselves and others, but the fights continue, the name calling continue, etc.  I hope to do more of the peer support model - find the mature students who can influence other students.  Dan Savage has the book "It Gets Better" and I think that's true for many students who feel unaccepted, unloved, different. 

More About Minnesota Gay Bullying Situation

More info from the American school counselor Association and a blog:
"This morning I heard a report on the high school district in Minnesota where nine people either Gay or suspected of being Gay, have been harassed or bullied to the point where they have committed suicide. Meanwhile the district has rules that basically prevent school counselors from supporting or even discussing the topics with students. The congresswoman representing the district voted against a bill to ban bullying in the schools.
ASCA should start a year long campaign fighting school districts imposing a gag on counselors from talking to students on any subject but particularly sexual identity issues"
More to come